Monday, 18 November 2013

Reaching A Post-Cancer Milestone

Number of years cancer-free: 5
Current CA125 level: 14
How I feel: very proud


It's been four months since I had my emergency hysterectomy and, thanks to getting a couple of infections, it's been a long recovery process. But I'm finally out the other side now and apart from some soreness if I attempt to do too much, I feel much more like myself. Just in time to celebrate a big personal milestone.

After I finished chemotherapy for the second time I wasn't sure how long I'd have before the cancer came back - after all, the cancer came back just six months after I finished my first course of chemo. So, making plans for the future was something I deliberately didn't do. But when we had our first miraculous little girl I gave myself a secret aim: to be around long enough to see her go to school.

I was never completely convinced I would really get to see it, but six weeks ago Molly started school. Getting her dressed in her uniform and taking her into the classroom would've been emotional anyway, but it had such added significance for me that I felt quite overwhelmed. I had reached a milestone I was never sure I would get to. I felt so proud watching her settle in, and every day when I take her to school now it almost feels like a bonus. Like I'm being given time with her that I never thought or dared hope I would have.

But, and here's the bit you have to keep to yourself, I've now got my next secret milestone: seeing Tess go to school. It's still three years away, and the thought of looking that far ahead is ridiculously scary, particularly after my cancer scare over the summer. But I'm going to keep it right at the very back of my head, and every day I'm going to take a tiny step closer to it.

After having the hysterectomy I initially felt quite upset that I couldn't chose whether or not to have any more children. We hadn't planned any more, but to have that decision taken out of your hands is very different. But the more time that passes the more I feel so complete with my two girls. I'm unbelievably lucky to have them, and not a single day goes by when I don't stop and remember that. So now I'm just going to concentrate on getting to my next milestone, and enjoy every day that gets me there.

Em

7 comments:

  1. As someone two years post diagnosis, facing the possibility that my most recent scans may be pointing towards a recurrence, reading your post gives me so much hope. Please keep coming back and checking in. :)

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    Replies
    1. I'm really sorry you think you might be facing a recurrence. I can imagine you must be feeling very anxious at the moment. I really hope it turns out not to be the case.

      I'm glad this post has given you hope. Do stay in touch and let me know how you're getting on.

      Take care

      Em x

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  2. Congrats in achieving a mini goal to be there when your daughter started school. I have been a blogger long before I had cancer and it is only natural to write of my experiences as well as read of others. Blogs such as yours make me feel less isolated in my journey. Even though I have a supportive family, I want to protect them from the worst that I can be at times. I am only just starting my journey. Thankfully at this early stage it does not include chemo, however I still hesitate to follow the radiation that is recommended. Still our journeys are different. http://inkspirationaldesigns.blogspot.com.au/2013/12/decisions-decisions-decisions.html. Don't be surprised if I make comments on earlier posts to as I come to them. Most likely I will start back at the beginning and go forth from there. I just wanted to say thanks for sharing your journey.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Michelle

      It sounds like you've had a difficult time with the surgery, and I can completely understand why you're hesitant about have the radiation given the potential side effects on your hearing. Being diagnosed with cancer is hard for so many reasons - the decisions you have to make is certainly one of them.

      I wish you so much luck for the treatment that is to come.

      Take care

      Em x

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  3. I'm in tears. Happy of course :)
    Get well soon EM xoxo ♡.♡

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  4. Hope you are doing well. Your journey of cancer is difficult to understand as you have faced all the situation of treatment with full confidence and you have never lost the hope. Take Care. Get well soon.

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